Aatma - An Idea

I recall the depiction of Aatma in the mythological TV soaps such as Shri Krishna, Om Namah Sivay and others that I watched in my childhood. The way they showed it, has been my conception of Aatma forever. A flickering light residing inside the body and leaving only after death or in the state of deep 'samadhis' in case of 'Sadhus'. It was a mysterious thing that has relevance for religion and like most of the things in the religion - it was to be prayed, respected and adored. It wasn't a disturbing idea. None of those things shown in the soaps were. Because I never cared about the logic. No one cared about the logic.

Recently when I went through some chapters of Kathopanishad, I found it again. The mysterious Aatma. There were similarities and differences in those conceptions. Similar because it was still mysterious. So mysterious that when Nachiketa asks the most wise person dealing in serious stuffs like life, death and the metaphysical, Yamraj, he tries to persuade him not to ask the question. Yamraj tells him to ask for any material or physical thing instead. This knowledge is not for the feeble minded, he says. But these arguments strengthen the resolve of Nachiketa.

Now, it is different from the concept of Aatma in the soaps because in this book there seems to be an inherent logic behind the concept of Aatma, however difficult to understand it might be. I know that I couldn't grasp all the things written in the text. But there are some beautiful ideas in this book such as 'Etadvai Tat" and 'The idea of self'. So even when Yamraj's explanation of Aatma is incomprehensible for me currently, I am convinced that it has some beautiful idea behind it.

Further reference to this mystery, and the one that is central to this post, comes from Shrimad Bhagwat Gita. The most relevant sloka is  "नैनं छिन्दन्ति शस्त्राणि नैनं दहति पावकः, न चैनं क्लेदयन्त्यापो न शोषयति मारुतः"  meaning it can't be destroyed by any weapon, fire, water or air. Whatever little I can muster in my thinking capacity, I think that this refers to 'The central idea of self'. This central idea about yourself, what you think you are is your Aatma. No one can destroy your idea about yourself. It may be that you haven't thought about this, you might not know it but if you consciously think about it, you might find something central and irreplaceable about yourself. And I think that that central idea is your Aatma.

This central idea is not to be confused with all the different ideas one gets all the time, mostly influenced by some other idea. Though I think that every single original idea was an Aatma, pure and divine, which is travelling through generations and can never die. Thus we have bits of Aatma of everyone whose ideas we are familiar with; some strong, some not so strong. And along with our own bit we are destined to resound throughout ages, however insignificantly. At least the last part seems reassuring.

A Story: Martin Luther

My name is Martin. I am from Germany, though you cant call this place Germany yet because all the kings surrounding this place haven't yet decided to meet up and consolidate the area. This is a task for future kings and politicians. But I can tell you some things about my place. Its quiet out here. Nothing much to do except follow the silly instructions of my father, off course. He wants me to study law, you see. I hate him. Studying law and all is fine but do you not want to unravel the mysteries of the Universe? All these wonders of nature can't come from nothing. Why not devote your life to understand the great extraordinary force? But in my opinion my father is more powerful than the other father, God. And it is because of him that I am going to continue my studies. And so I have to go to Erfurt for now.

Erfurt is a strange place I tell you. You can drink and fuck as much as you like. Girls are beautiful out here and the wine is good. But do you think these are the only things a man wants? If you think so, you must come to this place and attend to all these pleasures. I have done it but its not what I want. There is some deep meaning to life and I am going to find out what it is, for sure. I have made some friends here and the life is good. Or is it? No, not everything is so simple. You indulge in your life, forgetting everything. But you can't forget Plague. When this Plague, this Black Death approaches, it leaves none. Its God's vengeance upon us mortals. He took away three of my friends but who is to blame? Its definitely me. Its my sins that my friends have paid for and I will have to repent for my sins. Forgive me my lord for I have sinned.

But you know what, life goes on. Not even Plague can break the spirit of a man. So I am going to my parents for a couple of days. You know, just to change the environment. Tonight I am going to leave for college. Weather is not good but its the risk one has to take, I guess. Travelling on my horse, I have come a bit far but now I think my decision to travel tonight was horrific. These clouds have been following me like a snake to bite me at the earliest chance they get. This rain and these lightnings can definitely shake one from the inside. I bow to you my lord, please save me from this storm I will serve you till my last days. Please lord. And the lord delivers. Its a miracle. Christ has spoken to me. I am going to be a priest for the rest of my life and spread is holy message.

Augustinian is a good order. We all brother live here and sacrifice as much as possible because there is no redemption without sacrifice. If you can't give your all and suffer as the sinner suffers, how can you expect the God to bestow you with his love and affection. He blesses those who are worthy of being blessed. God loves those who can give his all and repent for all his mistakes and sins. I have faith in my brothers who have achieved God's grace and I shall sacrifice till I get his warmth.

I have devoted my all being in the service of God for quiet some time now. All my brothers have achieved the lord's grace, why not me? Is there something wrong with me or am I doing it all wrong? I don't know the answer but doubt can achieve nothing. Faith in God is all one needs and I am going to increase my sacrifices. Last night I slept nude in the ice outside without having any food but is this pain anything compared to the pain that Christ suffered. No. But my friends love me too dearly to leave me out there. I don't blame them. Love and friendship are the most beautiful things in the world. One could go to any lengths to value them and they definitely should. But what about me? How am I ever going to get his love. This dilemma keeps me up at night and I would die if something is not done about it soon.

And the good news comes. I am going to Rome, the holy of holiest cities. Probably this is the place where I am going to get all my answers. But Rome isn't what I had in mind. I thought it would be a great intellectual, spiritual place where I can find peace. Priests aren't interested in mass. No one is serious about God and his message. Everyone is busy earning a penny or too. And among these profit seeker, business people my Pope is the worst. Does he have the slightest inkling of what he is doing? Does he seriously think that by earning money from the poor people who don't have enough even for themselves and whoring around with this money is going to take him any closer to God. God, Please have mercy on their souls. This is definitely not a place to find my answers.

University of Wittenberg is definitely an improvement over Rome. Here I can focus on my quest. But father has asked me to teach the students. What can I teach? I don't know enough myself. But if its his will, let it be. For the teaching purposes I am reading the Bible. I have read it in all versions and languages, Latin, Greek, Hebrew, everything. And now I think i know what the lord is trying to say to me. These Churches, priests, cardinals are fake. Pope is fake.The whole Roman Catholic Church is an institution that makes the mockery of God. They are demons in the face of angels. Man is his own salvation. He and only he can repent for the sin he has committed, repents for it and fixes his place in the heaven. No piece of a damned paper of indulgence is going to absolve him from his sins. You are your own church, you own priest and you can deliver your prayer to the God on your own. These silly bastards who are trying to rob you off your money by trying to frighten you in the name of God will have to answer for themselves. So, its time you get out of your slumber and defy these degenerates selling indulgences. I give you these 95 commandments, follow them and follow your heart to lead yourself to freedom.

But to say you the least, I am quiet astonished at the response I have got. I never thought it would be so popular among the people and even among the kings. This shows that you definitely had a problem with them but you didn't speak out. Never mind, I am going to speak for you. God have chosen me for this purpose. Church has declared me a Heretic but I question the sons of devil of their authority. I call upon the kings to stop this madness at once. In fact, they are themselves suffering from this menace of Church. This Roman Church taxes them to earn money and spend it on the lavishness of their priests and Popes. This is ludicrous. I expect they support me in denouncing this charge of Heresy and Excommunication from this farce called Church.

I want the people to understand that they have the power to become their own priests. No one dictates my religion to me for I have my scripture, Bible for that. I have given you the Bible in German to understand what it says. Many people call me an idealist, they call me a legend who changed their religion, their society, their economy and much more. Some call me a hypocrite who brought violence in their lives and society. May be I caused some violence, may be I was manipulative at times and may be everything I have done is evil but in my best decision it was necessary. I saw a problem and tried to solve it. Is this decision that bad. Tell me you weren't frustrated of the system. You can't. What I want you to understand is that it is okay to stand up for something even if no one is with you. You have to fight the highest authority and your society if you think you doing something right and worthy of your contribution. everything else remains in the hands of God.

Oh, You Silly Man

And you think you have developed. What is this development of yours? Do tell. 14 years of living in a jungle of concrete. 10 years more studying in a school that has taught you shit. Nothing that has real practical significance anyway. Probably 7-8 years since you reached puberty and boy you had sex! So please tell me when did you develop? Oh, probably you call yourself developed because while your ancestors travelled on foot, you are travelling in a car. But then you strive to run 5 Kms daily on an artificial treadmill. No? Ok, you call yourself developed because you sleep on a large fluffy bed while your ancestors slept on bare ground. Still your ‘developed’ doctors blame your fluffy bed mostly for your persistent backache. No wait, you are developed because you live much more than your ancestors. But do you live really or just drag? Today I studied a newspaper article about suicide. I wonder.

I crave to see trees, rivers in my surrounding. I think if I had to do some physical work and have a little exhaustion before sleep, it would be great. Then probably it’s just me. If you like the air and water of your city then there is no argument. It’s a fair choice and I don’t want to interrupt. Go on. But I think we as a society lost much compared to the gains. I envy the sages of ancient India that they could peacefully sit under a tree with various exotic animals around. I envy Leonardo da Vinci that he could study nature undisturbed.

This is not to tell that everything that men have achieved has no value. Knowledge always has value. It makes life liveable. It is pursuitable. And probably the path of knowledge inevitably leads here. But in my opinion the development has happened in the field of knowledge only. I can’t call my lifestyle developed compared to my ancestors. I would rather undevelop myself. Silly me.

Well, love has its limits

The famous proverb “love has no limits” doesn’t seem to hold right in all circumstances. It has its limit I say albeit in some bizarre situations and places like India. I know that you are never satisfied with the status quo and always want some improvement in your life and in this quest you blame all the factors around you for the deplorable situation except yourself. I know this because when in college I saw almost all my alumnus leaving their jobs to do something better in their life or worst, just cribbing about their current job. I resolved in my heart then that I would be happy in my job and try to excel there. Alas, the resolve was a weak one. So here I am trying to improve my status quo.

However, there is one field where I never fought to improve my situation and that is in the field of finding myself love and by love I mean the quintessential female element that everyone is  so desperately craving in their life. Lest you venture far in your imaginations let me make my straight orientation clear. Not that I despise homosexuals or anything but it’s just a question of choice. Also, I am not socially that aloof, I have quite a few number of friends among them some females too, even though many could spot some introvert characteristics in my personality. And if there is an inverse correlation between introvert-ism and female companionship this article would surely be a waste of time. However assuming the contrary and being such a fan of rationalism I tried to assess the situation.

As far I have gathered hunger and sex are the most primitive urges of a human being. Many studies focused on hunger have been done and its detrimental effect on the physical and psychological well being of a man has been acknowledged. Whole economies of countries and giant intellectuals along with it are focused on eradicating poverty from the face of the earth. While this is an act worth appreciation but what of the second urge. Being the taboo sex has been in post-don’t-know-what-century very few studies have been done on the subject. Its rather depressing seeing India in this situation when studies like Kamasutra had been done on this subject in this country.

When a man steals and robs in the state of poverty people try to understand their situation if not appreciate it. Indian government has acknowledged that the wrongful effect of poor on the environment can’t be curbed fully unless they have been given adequate opportunity and material wealth to survive. Why don’t we have similar sympathy for the sex starved then. They can’t be allowed to get away with a rape just like a poor can’t be allowed with a murder or any other crime originating from his hunger but an acknowledgement of their situation is warranted.

Let me make this clear with an appropriate example that I and most of the people of my generation, I am sure, have faced. The proportion of girls in any of my class was never greater than 10% right from school to the highest class of study that I ever did. Many times there is a whole section of boys alone. In this situation do you think it is possible for small kids to have a understanding or even free interaction among them as a boy and girl. This small fissure developed in initial periods of life and nurtured throughout becomes an unmanageable gap in the latter periods of life. Those who are lucky 10-20% get a girl who has been developed in a similar scenario. Majority of the rest 80% ,like me, move on with their life and focus on ”better” things in their life but a significant portion remains who are not satisfied with this situation. They are mostly those who have nothing to lose in their life and live life in a sense of revenge for all those things life hasn’t given them. They do not hesitate to snatch what they think is their right. They do not think about consequences or do not see very far. They rape.

But who is the offender here. That boy who has been denied the opportunity to talk to a girl since his childhood, who has seen almost daily family violence, who has seen his authoritative father beat and abuse his mother or is it the society which has created the unmanageable gap. And this society is you and me acting as a parent and teacher. You denied them the opportunity to fulfill a basic need and now when they become the offender you blame them solely. The solution would never come from these hangings or even the effectiveness and surety of justice, however important the latter might be. The change would come with the free interaction of little kids and keeping it unhindered for his whole life.

When I made a statement among my friends that this restriction of freedom and sex hunger of our country is a huge burden on our development and GDP, they laughed. It was a laugh that flashed lightness with which we approach the subject and also a sense of approval I think to probably flatter myself. But I think this is true. Less development among poor hinders their ability to contribute to our economy and the same I think is true for the normal young sex starved people. They can’t focus on normal subject with the same efficiency when an important element of their life is missing. I intend to further study the phenomenon.

What should be the basic idea for administration and politics?

For this question we should look into the initial situation that would have led to a formal institution of administration and politics. At the start of civilisation there must have been small communities in which people formed families and societies to look after each other. Need of man to look after each other and in turn being looked after him at times of crisis or otherwise is the basic tenet of development of family, society or nation.

Thus I find humanism to be the basic principle for the development of every aspect of civilisation, may it be family, society, nation or religion. When people say that some man can be sacrificed for the greater good of religion or state, I find it outrightly disastrous. Does this mean that the soldiers who sacrifice themselves in the name of nation are misled? No. It’s because they are not sacrificed at the will of others. They have their motivation and they do so because they hold something, namely nation, very dear to themselves and to defend that institution, they are willing to even lay their lives.

It would be very convenient if there were no nation, no state and no army but practically it is not possible currently because not everyone would think like this and I don’t blame them to be wrong. All these assumptions taken by me may be wrong or I might be missing something very important ion this conclusion. However, if this logic is not flawed then it is logical to conclude that when the population of humans increased to a large extent and it became impossible to control the “looking after” process by simple institutions like family and society, villages and subsequently nations were developed.

In this endeavour humans increasingly felt the need to appoint someone as their leader to take decisions on their behalf. They must have felt that this should be done by someone who is best among themselves. So a leader, especially political ones, should have two central traits: 1. He should be the best among the population who can take decisions according to his good sense of justice that benefits the whole society. 2. He should have an inherent tendency to look after not only his well-being but of the whole society too.

While finding such a man would have been a difficult job for initial institutions too but to achieve something similar at a national level is one of the most difficult jobs in the world, I think. That is why man experimented with monarchy, bureaucracy, feudalism, democracy and what not.

Monarchy has its advantages like swift implementation of action and others but with passing time the rule goes into the hands of a person that is a son or a relative or a loyal supporter of the king who himself might not be talented or judicious enough for this immense task. After much experimentation it seems that democracy is the best option. Again this is a generalised statement without a formal proof but in the light of insufficient and limited data I am making this statement. The no nation idea mentioned earlier should ideally be the best option but the way in which different civilisations around the world developed is responsible for the nationalist feelings seen world around today.

Now coming to the main point, in indian context after the independence, development of nation was envisaged as india as a nation and then fixing the administration in a way that was best suitable for this plan. This is an admirable approach but I think that a better approach could have been keeping the individual at centre of administration. Nation as an institution may be a subject of pride for the people of that nation and people shall make every effort for the development of that nation but ultimately nation shall be there for the benefit of every individual rather than people for the nation.

If this approach would have been taken then I think that the development of small villages and bringing grass-root democracy in india would have been the top most priority of indian leaders. I am deeply influenced by the views of Mahatma Gandhi in this context (grass-root village democracy and concept of state not being the best option of administration). And this is why I hold sympathetic views about the current movement currently led by Mr. Arvind Kejriwal. People often say that he has socialistic and uneconomic tendencies and is leading india to a path of disaster.

I do not want to go deep into the economic aspects lest I tread into an entirely divergent path but at the least I can say is that socialistic communistic and capitalistic economic sense of the world has a very fluctuating history and I have not been able yet to hold one of the economic ideologies better than the other. While uneconomic activities are bound to fail but way of policy implementation surely can have various interpretations. I do not have enough information to hold my claim but I doubt some of his policies and think that only time can tell about their success or failure.

However this doesn’t rip them off their most successful experiment of bringing a hope into the current political scenario of india. I do not understand how those people who are harassed by the police and administration in the country on a regular basis could not understand the initiatives taken by him. There can be three reasons: 1. Time is of essence and looking at the election propaganda by various political parties (mainly BJP) they are maligned so that they might not cut enough of their votes and this, according to me, might not be a very bad thing in larger context. 2. People who have been supporter of a political party earlier can’t leave their ideologies immediately and this is the inertia that is holding them back and this group will ultimately come forward in this movement given everything in this movement goes right. 3. They basically do not like the ideology of the party and they would be the main opponent for this ideological struggle by this party or parties like this.

Now, the society in which we are today is a centralised society which has been culturally and historically decentralised in units called villages. But the administration developed after independence, and with such vigour, has established a central administration with a proper system based on foreign understanding and societal and cultural values. This is the main fault of administration in india, I think.

But to rectify such a system is also not an easy task in itself and this would surely require something like a revolution. The smoother the revolution the better it is for india because a violent and disruptive revolution has the potential to derail the high speed economic growth wagon. Ideas of the likes of Anna Hazare and Arvind Kejriwal are praiseworthy but they can take a lesson or two from the high ideals of Mahatma Gandhi. As pointed out in an opinion in The Hindu, violence is limited not only in action but also in words and thoughts.

This is where Mr. Arvind Kejriwal and AAP party fails miserably. With so much swearing and pointing out the faults of various personalities and parties present in indian political system they only undermine their own credibility. You can’t remain clean by throwing stone into the mud. To clean the mud, you have to enter the muddy area that they have already done and then slowly and steadily clean the mud through various instruments. The mud that you come into contact in this process is the inevitable sacrifice you make for the greater purposes. This mud is equivalent to the degenerate allegations levelled by the corrupt political leaders but public in general understands these baseless allegations and not much harm can be done through them. They only have to resist the urge to respond and cry foul over all these allegations and try to use good and sensitive words when addressing a public gathering or when talking to the media.

It doesn’t matter whether they succeed or not because there have been many things in this world that could have been better or worst but after all you and me as an individual or humanity as a whole has survived all this and believe me or not there are far more important things in your life than this if you think clearly. The only thing that matters is what ideal you are following and whether you are trying enough to fulfil that ideal or not. You would certainly be a happier person if you follow the golden words of Mahatma Gandhi – “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

A Faulty Experiment Revised

There is a miraculous text called Gita. Everytime I read it I think that I have figured it all out but every next reading reveals things that were yet hidden. My thinking in college days was not to be influenced by happiness or sorrow and act in all the situations being detached as a "karmyogi". But it seems that there is much more to it than that. While I tried to be detached from the fruits of actions, I later realised that I became detached from actions itself. I never tried to accomplish anything and thus the question of being detached from the fruits never arise in the first place.

Now that I am trying to accomplish something, the motive is to prove that I am capable and to establish a niche for myself in the society. But it seems that this motive in itself is at fault. I forced myself to think sometimes that I am doing this to just gain some knowledge and not to prove anything. But you can't lie to yourself, can you? And I have experienced the disadvantages attached to this thinking. I am not able to concentrate on my studies. I think about the result of exam. I think, what if I am not able to clear the exam? If I have chosen the right path by opting to start the preparation. All these questions have their effects and hampers the concentration required for preparation.

It seems that I was content, even if partially, with the result of an experiment, the basic assumption of which was faulty. I was trying to be detached from the fruits of action when there were no real efforts. And when I am making a real effort, following the path is painstakingly difficult. But here lies the greatest beauty of Gita I guess. It never discards you. It has an inherent faith in the ability of man to do anything and hence it says- "Abhyasen tu kaunteyam". It realises the difficulty attached with the proposed path and itself says that without practise its not achievable and even with greatest of efforts you may gain very little. But the theme is to keep practising and it would surely make you a better person tomorrow. So I shall practice. 

Thank you for saving the democracy My Lord

I didn’t have the slightest bit of interest in politics in my adolescent phase. As I grew up I heard things about democracy, character of politicians and the process of election in which general public would go to vote and elect a politician who was supposed to take decisions for them and strive to develop the society in a better way. The election days were like festivals, not like the usual ones in which we would get sweets or new cloths or light crackers. But as in other festivals, there were grand preparations. Loud-speakers would call the names of politicians and discuss their agenda. People engaged in discussions about the policies of political parties and their candidates. One thing I could make out of all those discussions was how pathetic they all were and how they would have to choose the least corrupt or the best amongst all those good-for-nothings. And as the election-day came, they would all go to vote. I heard from my father how he had to wait in the line for almost whole day to get his vote registered. I couldn’t fathom their logic. I asked to myself and to them why you waste so much of your efforts in such a thing. Why vote anyone if you know that they aren’t going to do anything good for the area, leave alone the country. They tried to convince me by saying that this is a democracy and democracies run on elections. You will also have to vote when you come of the age. While it isn’t compulsory, you ought to give your vote because you would be contributing significantly for your country. Their logic never convinced me and I thought I would never vote until recently. Until I am fully sure that my vote goes to right person I wouldn’t vote because my vote to a wrong person would indirectly make me a contributor in the wrongdoings of all those corrupt persons. I thought why can’t there be a simple button or ballot saying that I don’t want choose any of these bastards. Instead my vote should indicate that none of these morons are capable or moral enough to rule over me.

And as if like a miracle, Supreme Court heard my words and more importantly of those who were relentlessly trying to convince those same bastards to incorporate such an important electoral reform. While in my opinion trying to convince those bastards was always a lost cause, I had in my mind that someone must be hearing the pleas because democracy in a vast country like India wouldn’t have survived if there were none. I think that such an important step has come after a huge delay but as they say, better late than never. The greatest dilemma in this whole scenario is that the one functionary of democracy that was supposed to bring about this change is shamelessly staring at the real lords of democracy to guide them through their works. And this is not an isolated event. Now that I am aware of many of the decisions taken by Supreme Court and its implications, I can safely say that all this time they have been the real champions of the democracy.

On the other hand, our system of democracy is not supposed to function in the way it is functioning now. Courts shall never enter the field of legislation and reforms. They are the protectors of law. Their scope shall be limited in providing the meaning of a law and enforce it. But even knowing all this, I am glad that they are forcing their way into the muddy path where they are not supposed to be. These bastards are the reason why they are there in the first place and they will be there until these bastards come to their senses. I don’t know for how long these benevolent champions of democracy would be able to continue in this path but for now they have surely been able to reinforce my faith in democracy. I hope for a day when I would be able to say the same thing about those bastards and if only hoping doesn’t work I shall try to enter their field to show them how things can change for better. But for now I hope because “hope is a good thing, probably the best of the things” as beautifully described in The Shawshank Redemption.

Note: Replace bastards/morons with politicians/legislators.