heaven to hell

High hopes by pink floyd--


This is a path from heaven to hell. I was once living in a heaven..there the life was beautiful...the life was too comfortable to even think about anything else...suddenly i was leaded towards an unknown force...guess where it leads...the path to hell. There is a bridge between these two worlds...

I have stepped out of heaven... i knew it will be disastrous but i caant deny it... i am continuously forced towards it. At last i have crossed out of heaven. OH MY GOD....the door to the heaven has closed...what the f***. Now one hand leads to hell and the other to nowhere... i have to continue towards the hell...sometimes my feet moves backwards but the force is pulling...

Now i am in hell...How ill-treated this world is. I cannt help remembering all those days in heaven...what a life was there!!!...now so many miseries here...what an ugly face of life...i cannt survive here................time passes..........it seems time heals every wound...a have become used to this situation. What is wrong with this...at least i have a zest for returning to those golden days...i have some meaning in life....

a big mistake

This is 6 in the morning and it is rather unusual for a guy like me to write a post at this time...but i have a thought prevailing in my mind and i cannt stop admitting it. I have a feeling about my friend circle that i know too much about them and i can sense every emotion rising in their heart....but this is not true. I had come to know about the fact this night. How foolish i am really. Whatever goes on in my mind is not a unique event...it can be thought by every person in general...if you have an ego, a self respect, a sense of care or may it be any feeling, it is there in the mind of each and every person in the world. What is diffferent is the power to understand this very fact.

This is the second time i have felt lost...and this not due to behaviour of a friend or a person of influence...this has come due to certain lack of understanding of my own world...people say "every mistake is an opportunity, we should take a lesson from it", but it seems i have not understood this thing clearly...only time will tell if i have to write this again or not.

The way i behave, my freinds and i too believe that i am an introvert. I listen too much and dont express my feelings even when i ought to. For me this has certain advantages and disadvantages as well, the latter being more, now i think. I cannot change myself totally, and i won't i know this,but i can adapt to the situations at least.

OPPORTUNITIES DON'T KNOCK AT YOUR DOOR REGULARLY, GRAB IT OR ELSE YOU WILL BE DOOMED COZ THERE IS NO DEARTH OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT EVEN TASTED IT.

Go to sleep man...tommorow will be a great day....

something different...

I am on a novel...."india unbound". However i have read only around 150 pages but i liked it too much to be left unread even if my exams are close. Some quotes given in it are so matched with my view of thinking that i cannt resist it. One in it says..."the people are happy when the king is far". It amuses me so much coz i relate it to my childhood days...Whenever my dad was out, me and my bro ,sachin, had so much fun and were so happy that we wished, at the time of time of studies, he were not in the house. Off course his absence now feels somewhat odd but that was the case when i was a child.

But the main topic it addresses ,i think, is somewhat else. There is a para explaining the view. It says...' in any institution, the superiors should always be there to help their juniors to teach the different situations that they are going to face and how to tackle the problems. They should explain them the traditons and the environment....but they sholuldn't impose their thoughts on them. They shouldnt try rigorously to take control over them coz this attitude leads to low creativity and less efficiency.' This is true for a family or a school or at any other institute...

I have always shared this view and totaly agree with this. A simple example relating this can be taken from day to day life. Whenever we face any problem, we simply do better when there is no one to watch and we dont think anything about the result...so one should try and try but never hamper his attempt by the thought a negative result or overwhelm himself by being overconfident.

DONT DREAM FOR OTHERS, IT WILL LEAD TO OVER-EXPECTATIONS AND FRUSTRATION....DREAM FOR YOURSELF, IT WILL TAKE YOU GREAT HEIGHTS.....

Off to my novel now....

changing times

yesterday i was drinking so much, after really a long time. Its not the quantity that matters but the aftereffects. Before yesterday night whenever i drank i was really comfortable and sometimes even the slight loss of control was not there. But last night only after 2 beers and some whisky i was vomitting like hell...i dont know what is this with the booze...sometimes it wont effect you a bit and at times it can drive you crazy...today i am in my full senses and totally sane, sometimes this feels great.

when i am drunk i become more concious and think a bit differently, if i am not senti....this state is an exception...i can do really wierd things in that situation which i can't think of in my rarest dreams.

god knows what i will write in tomorrows test but its not a problem, many tests have come and gone. i have not worried abt those so called important exams so why now...have a good sleep and copy very carefully in the test...