ye un dino ki baat hai...

Walking on the road towards the school, bag full of books and eyes of dreams; I was in class 4 then. I used to be kindda silent and non-mischievous boy then (its hard to be believe but its true). most of the incidents that happened at that time are hard to recall but some of them were so childish and innocent that they stuck to my mind and I am going to tell you some of them today.....

sandeep was one of my friends and I had a fight with him over some matter....don't actually remember what the trifle was all about but then after some days his father had a transfer and they went to some other place.....the incident hurt me so much that I thought it was all my fault and wept whole night and felt guilty for a whole month or so.....now I know the truth but even now I fill a ting of pain or whatever it is when I think about that....

There was one more incident having a funny note though....that school was a co-ed and guys and gals used to sit with each other there....I was going to join another school and my friends nupur and paresh told me that boys and girls are supposed to sit separately in that school....and I wondered for a long time why is that so until I joined the school and found that to be true.....with time I became used to this idea and found nothing unusual in it......but the reason became clear only after some more years....and i suppose this is also the reason for my uneasy feelings with the girls...

After so many years when i recall those incidents.....whether emotional or humorous....an unusual sensation comes into my mind and I know that this sensation is good because it creates an instantaneous smile on my face....     

another "g" day......

sexy yaar sexy......

i discovered one more thing today.....if u have read my earlier posts.....u must know i discover something mostly on my "g" days......now dont ask me what that means.....u must have heard that if u were of my collg....never mind.....i cant mension that because people always seem critical to this....and probably i find my "solace".....if there exists such a word.....enough.....enough....

now to the main topic....u think u listen songs....know everything abt them......well what is the difference between indian music and western music.....u'll say indian music is mostly of soft kind....lately some fast tacks are there.....but as i take it....most people hate them, if they do, because it is too slow for them.....on the other hand english songs have their fabulous raps and pops in them sans pink floyd.....which people are again critical of, somehow......but the reason is obvious.....isnt it....??

but the main point of discovery is that this is not by itself.....this is in integration with the instrumental of the song.....indian instrument's music....may be harmonium, flute or violin type music.....it takes a constant note and creates a continuous music......but western instruments like guitar or drum have sharp and short notes and beats.....

i know its not that big  DISCOVERY but as u have been so patient in my worthless babbling.....and as they say......u must help those lunatics.....its a noble cause...off course......and dont overestimate urself too.....i know u are not that busy too......u dont have a better thing to do at the moment.....trust me and accept it.....maybe u can find a diamond in the coalmine all of a sudden......ahhh the probability is so less though....

thank you very much for the time you donated for this noble cause.....bcoz i doubt it that i would have done so if i were sane......and hearty congratulations for successfully accomplishing a herculean task....join the team........welcome.

1 rupya aaj bhi chalta hai....

Times change....sometimes very slowly though....not even giving you the opportunity to recognize what changed....and when you realize the difference after a long time you look at it, awestruck, and say sahi  hai  yaar....you often don't realize its for good or bad....but then result ain't everything....as one of my friends said....the path is even more interesting.


When we were in 1st and 2nd year....that is in up's....i spent some of the best days of my life till now....and i think it applies for all my friends too....i know you can't generalise your feelings for the whole general mass....but they are not general.....are they??? and believe me i had too long a discussion about this.....so not again.... anyway the topic here is that we used to celebrate holi there, and what enjoying moments those were....buckets of water and colours flowing from the top floor to the bottom and we guys from ground floor, going up and giving them some lessons on their own subject.....going to jhaji with a rag on our bodies and then smoke and say HOLI HAI....and every time my stupid comment....TERE KO ABHI PATA CHALA......


Yesterday we did the same thing here in the downs....surely it was different....no water from top to ground floor....but there were incidents even more interesting....i, chuchu (please call him nitish, its decent!!!) and joshi went to the market....they were wearing the rags and i was driving the bike almost naked...the looks on the face of by-passers told us....you shameless creatures....you are incorrigible.....and we asked them the same questions with our eyes....


then prakash and i had some BHANG (baba ka prasad, its nickname) and drove off to the nadi.....man, what an experience it was....if the one thing you are missing in the NIT and with such proximity.....it will surely be the nadi....lying on the sand bed with water flowing over you slowly....its heaven....and when you close your eyes you think you are being driven away by the current with a crazy speed....but you are still lying in the same position....Pratyush and prakash experimented and concluded the fact....and we were cursing NEWTON that he discovered everything in advance...otherwise the flame of glory was ours to be held.....


Maybe it was the BHANG....i can't deny it because we proved that by spending the whole evening talking in tooti phooti punjabi.......and prakash was all praises for me...i couldn't stop myself from praising him too....and so this post is dedicated to his statement.....1 rupya aaj bhi chalta hai...he said whether it be bhang or guthka or ganja....it is more interesting than those sophisticated vodka shots or the scotch pegs....who said the one rupee coin is obsolete......1 rupya aaj bhi chalta hai....


At the night there was my fav dish....maggy after a joint.....but you know....i had had enough and couldn't tolerate any more....so...in short....it was a perfect HOLI.

weird thoughts at weird times.....

weird and unexpected things happen at one point or other in everyone's life but this time it was a bit harsh....what simple and carefree was the journey from jamshedpur to my village......everything was normal.....i have to spend some time with my uncles and aunts and my sis....yeah....exam is knocking but almost 15 days are left....i spent quality time there....such a relief.....but no.....events had to turn out this way....i am not blaming it but then what will you say when tata steel chooses you out of 4 guys selected in the written exam.....i don't know how was my exam as i have never known because i hardly discuss any paper....i was at DARBHANGA when nishi sent me the sms.....it staed...."abey tera tata steel ka written ho gaya hai.....majak nahi kar raha hun....sachhi...." there were 3 or 4 missed calls.....and then a flurry of congratulatory calls....i can't explain it.....my mind went numb and i hardly remember anything of that 3 or 4 hour duration.....i know it was not that big an issue because there was an interview waiting for me about which i knew nothing.....but when you consider the tough competition of my branch and see my rank (30+/67) it seems a great achievement.....isn't it?....


so there i ways, gaping and staring at nothing.....i had to reach jamshedpur as soon as possible.....news welcoming me were.....maoists are blasting the tracks of the route and the train is 3 hours late at the starting station.....i think that i don't lose my cool in difficult situations but there i was.....frustrated as hell and don't know what to do.....i was even considering to fucking forget the train and take a bus.....and if you know the route you will surely appreciate my decision of not considering the option.....i can't explain enough, how long the journey was......when i reached jamshedpur i had made my mind to gulp a beer and throw out those useless frustrating thoughts out of my mind.....but chinki saved me from this unwelcoming thought too......i wouldn't have survived the interview if i had done that......

i don't know what is the limit of coolness but this incident showed me that i have to go a long way to achieve what i want to achieve....a state where an incident will not carry any exaggerated effect on my mind in any situation.....i don't say that was completely off the track.....at least i managed to get through the interview....but it was really weird....

What is she trying to do…..going to start a religion? And she probably would have succeeded if she were an orator as good as a writer. Every character in this novel is worth noticing, admiring and despising. On one hand there is HOWARD ROARK….an undisputable champion and a great talent in the field of architecture…..as solid as a rock about his principles. He is quiet able to carry forward the legacy of the all those creators and inventors without whom mankind would not have been able to make the world comfortable enough for himself. He is unmoved by theories of sacrificing his great art works for the sake of common people. Life should be lead in a way that makes a man happy and he should never compromise on his work at which he is best. He has been forced to make subtle changes in his works and reasons put forward. He has never been recognized for his work and fame is a word never experienced by him.

The book despises every religion in the world that makes the world a place …..where individual talents are suppressed to make way for the mass…. where a man is forced to sacrifice his talent for no reason whatsoever. ELSEWORTH TOOHEY is the champion of this thought. He is an ideal of the masses. His nonsense is a preaching. His self sacrifice theories are sermons and he leads to a world where your happiness is nothing if it is unable to satisfy the people surrounding you, the society. He is termite both in appearance and thoughts. He is a gas that is corroding the environment and he is growing at such pace that it will soon eat away all the talent in the world and then on man will depend on other….this other will depend on some different other and so on. Ultimately they all will depend on him and this is his method of making power. There will never be a free will, a free thought, any original idea and then the whole world will be equal. Yes, he is an ideal. At least everyone in the world thinks so.

This world is not a place for talents like ROARK. I m going to destroy each and every talent and because I know this something I can’t endure, I will make myself suffer. To suffer because I am a part of this world where a purist can’t survive. This is a world of second-handers and I will make them suffer unknowingly by eliminating their most prized possessions. This is GAIL WYNAND and DOMINIQUE FRANKON. These two are the characters that startle me the most. WYNAND is an extremely powerful man. He has gained power by giving the world what they always wanted to gain. He was the head of newspaper BANNER which came forward with each and every story of pain, atrocity, and humiliation for the human race. He made them suffer. DOMINIQUE was of her own kind. She wrote very article in her own way……despising the talent with each word and yet there was a theme of appreciation….in the core there was a humiliation for those who made it possible. She always try to make herself suffer by disguising herself, as a creature devoid of self, a writer worth preposterous talks in useless columns.

This is such a good philosophical book that at times it becomes a great psychological adventure. You can't take your eyes off when you are reading and you can’t stop thinking about it when you are doing something else, that is rare until you finish the book. Each and every character has its own charm and superb dialogues to defend their theories. While reading you feel that you are diving in the ocean of minds all those people whom you have known to be great in one way or the other. You know that there are two ways of getting success and when you chose the shortcut by compromising with your soul, you always fret over simple issues that can make you lose your fame or money. You become PETER KEATING whose ideal is TOOHEY. But if you chose the pure way you are frightened of nothing. Not even money or rarest of success possible in the world can make you do something with which your heart and soul doesn’t agree upon. You become HOWARD ROARK.

I know that whatever I say, as much I praise the book is not going to force you to get a copy of the book in your hand instantly, because whatever I write is not going to make it THE FOUNTAIN HEAD and because I am not AYN RAND.

what's this....

you know....this all is shit.....yeah so what i have been drinking.....are all of u not convincing everyone to listen ur way....go on but it's not gonna make a change......the world will be what it is......

life??????? how can i describe it.....i m hopeless.....as simple as that....at times i think i can make it all right and moment latter its all gone...believe me.....u can write this only when u r drunk....i m fucking high.....i m not gonna preach....i aint gonna cry......this will go as simple as it can.....

u disguise urself every time.....i thought u can live ur life life with one frame of mind through out....but guess what....i was wrong.....i m always wrong and supposedly will always be.....off course "linkin park was right.....in the end....it doesnt even matter...."

आज बहुत दिनों के बाद कुछ लिखे का मन किया तो सोचा क्यों न हिंदी मैं लिखा जाये....वैसे भी कुछ न करने से कुछ अलग करना ही बेहतर है....बस फिर क्या....कुछ बकता हूँ....

हाल ही में झारखण्ड के चुनाव के नतीजे घोषित हुए....फिर इस बार वही बात हुई जो सबके दिलों में कही न कहीं छुपी थी....३ पार्टियाँ लगभग बराबर सीटें ले गयीं और तीनो में से कोई भी झुकने को तैयार नहीं थीं....अंत में उस आदमी को मुख्यमंत्री बनाया गया जिसके ऊपर अभी भी कई अपराधजनक धाराएँ लंबित हैं.....और जिसकी वजह से पिछले चनावों में भी इन्ही परिस्थितियों में एक स्थायी सरकार नहीं बन पाई थी...

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ये बहुत दिनों पहले की बात नहीं है जब झारखण्ड को एक नए राज्य का दर्जा दिया गया था....शायद ऐसा इसलिए किया गया था की जिस क्षेत्र को वो मौके नहीं मिले जैसा की एक स्वतंत्र राज्य को मिलता है उसे भी अपनी तरक्की के बारे में सोचने का पूरा मौका मिले और यहाँ के पिछड़े लोग भी अपने लिए कुछ कर सकें.....मगर ऐसा होता दीखता नहीं है.....भारत एक स्वतंत्र  देश है और इसमें कोई सक नहीं की इसे चलाने वाले लोग बहुत ही काबिल और देश का भला सोचने वाले लोग हैं......फिर ऐसा क्यों हो जाता है की जिस उद्देश्य से कोई निति बनायीं जाती हैं उनका परिणाम कुछ अलग ही हो जाता है.....

   जब कोई राज्य निर्माण जैसा महत्वपूर्ण फैसला लिया जाता है तो निर्माण सम्बंधित सारी बातें अच्छी तरह सोच लेना अनिवार्य ही होता है....ये बात किसी से छुपी नहीं थी की झारखण्ड की आबादी का अधिकतम हिस्सा आदिवासियों का है....और स्वतंत्र होने पर उनकी प्रगति ही इस राज्य की प्रगति का सूचक होगा....मगर ऐसा तब होता जब इसके बारे मैं निर्णय करने वाले लोग भी ओछी राजनीती को छोड़ कर ऐसा ही सोचें....मगर ऐसा सोचने के लिए ऐसी काबिलियत भी चाहिए जो की उनके शैक्षणिक स्तर को देख कर प्रतीत नहीं होता.....मगर ये उनकी गलती कम है जो अभी सत्ता में हैं बल्कि उनकी है जिसने इस स्थिति को कायम किया....जब किसी को बिना ज्ञान के शक्ति दे दी जाती है तो कुछ ऐसा ही होता है.....

कभी कभी आश्चर्य होता है की भारत की मुश्किलें भी कितनी विभिन्न हैं.....कभी हमारे पास कोई सुविधा नहीं होती और हम उन चीजों के लिए तरसते हैं जिनका खुला दुरूपयोग हमारे ही परोसी कर रहे होते हैं......वैसे ये यहाँ के लिए कोई नयी बात नहीं है....सबसे बड़ी बात ये है की यहाँ के लोग देश को देश ना देख कर विभिन्न राज्यों का समूह देखते हैं....एक सुदृढ़ और संपन्न देश के लिए लोगो की इस मानशिकता का बदलना नितांत आवश्यक है.....मेरे पिछले बोग की तरह इसमें भी अंतिम आशा यही होगी कि इस समस्या का समाधान अधिक दूर ना हो और झारखण्ड अपने संसाधनों का सदुपयोग करते हुए एक विस्मयकारी प्रगति के साथ सबको आश्चर्यचकित कर दे.......

                                        

                                              शबनम कि बुँदे अभी उतरी नहीं हैं,

                                             सितारों से अपनी राहे सजा लो,

                                             क्या पता सुबह कि आगोश मैं क्या छुपा है,

                                             सुनहरी किरणों के भेष में,
                                             चिलचिलाती धुप अपना रास्ता ना बना रही हो....