Mind doesn’t work that way, silly

Standing on the roof of my hostel, smoking weed and listening to Pink Floyd I was trying to justify my philosophy of “live in the moment”, “let your instinct guide you” and “do whatever makes you feel happy”. Later, after studying many great philosophers and thinkers I got to know that this isn’t a prophesy I could boast of discovering. On the contrary, many people said this, lived this theory throughout their life and lived it to a degree which I could never have imagined. But then came stages in my life which convinced me that it wasn’t enough to do things that make me happy for the moment. While it shall be an important aspect of my life, it was also necessary to have a ‘greater goal' or I shall replace the word 'greater goal' with 'long-term plan' if it sounds too cliché. The balance between these two goals shall reap greater rewards as according to Budhha “Avoid the extremes”. I now believe and try to incorporate in my life, the theory that without significant effort and facing hardships one can’t feel the absolute maximum of happiness.

The afore-mentioned theory can be beautifully summarized in the phrase “Gold glitters when it passes the test of fire”. This and many other phrases have been taught to me many times in my childhood but the significance of a philosophy can only be realized through experiments. I pity the sons of great businessmen or celebrities who never had any hardship in their life for they can’t experience the joy of transition from being poor to rich. How can one discover the true richness and taste of water if he had never been thirsty in his life? You can’t discover this feeling in any book or by reading the biography Budhha or Gandhi. You have to discover yourself it by experimenting in your life.

So, shall I leave behind all those little moments of happiness in pursuit of that long-term goal which I am not even sure of achieving? Never! Firstly I am not even sure of achieving the goal. I am not absolutely sure of my capabilities. Secondly, even if I achieve the target, what is the guarantee that this leads to a happier life? I would have ambitions even then and I would not remain human if I don’t. Finally and most importantly, these small and insignificant moments are the ones that define my life. The moment of success will also be a moment if it is destined to be but I can’t sacrifice these innumerable moments in exchange of that one uncertain moment.

Therefore, balance seems to be the only option. Balance between “living in the moment” and “a greater goal”. Balance between “giggling” and “the final laughter or heart-ache”. Balance between “booze and weed nights” and “study nights”. This balance shall define my life for now. I say now because I know nothing is permanent. This theory would have its limitations and I would follow some other theories in coming time. And I am perfectly OK with that because what is life if not change. Even my facebook cover pic says so.

God's Single Blunder

Staring at the sky in a cloudless starry night or watching the serene surrounding of Uttarkashi and Hrishikesh, I exclaim "How Beautiful". But why these things seem beautiful to me? Probably due to the simplicity apparent in the surrounding. No artificialism. No mechanisation. No intelligent human interference in the simple nature created by God or any other super-power or just existing there by chance. They have their purpose, a definite life-time and power to influence other entities but not like humans.

Man! you surprise me. You started as a baby, learning from creatures around you. You befriended some who were helpful, murdered others that came in your way and you would stop at nothing. But really this isn't your fault. This is your father's fault.With the power to think, who wouldn't do such a thing. When a tiger kills for his hunger, you call him a beast but being at the top of your society, being deprived of no facility, no necessity, you kill anyway. When a tornado or an earthquake destroys one of your cities you call it a natural disaster but you keep destroying nature's beauty and at the same time, your own peace of mind anyway. You think you will achieve everything but in this process of achieving you lose track of what you gained and lost. You don't even think before acquiring a possession whether it is worth acquiring or not.

The ability of a man to think is his greatest weapon and the God's Single Blunder i would say. He would seek and know everything there is to know but the Ultimate truth. For if he knows that truth he would become God and that knowledge would no more remain the Ultimate truth. If there is any God he wouldn't risk such a knowledge to the unworthy man. If there isn't any, by definition this rank goes to man, being all powerful and no other superior power in sight, and in my opinion he has not yet been able to justify his candidature. If there exists any God my only prayer to him would be to make a subtle change in the process of thinking because if he doesn't do it he will be the man's next victim.

सफ़र

आज जब इस गुमशुम शाम में ठहरे हुए लम्हों के बीच रुक कर सोचा,
तो जाना की हमने तो ऐसे ही जीना सिखा है, गाना सिखा है, मुश्कुराना सिखा है,
पर रोना नहीं सिखा, ये अदा तो बेवक्त, अनचाहे ऐसे ही आ जाती है.
काश के हम रोना भी सीख लेते तो ये दर्द इतनी ग़मगीन ना होती.

तुमने हमे क्या नहीं दिया, ये जिंदगी उन हसीन लम्हों की ही तो कायल है,
लेकिन वो कहते हैं न की हर सिक्के के दो पहलु होते हैं,
हम ये समझ न पाए की हर हसीं शाम के बाद एक काली रात भी होती है,
वो रात जो मुश्किल है, संघर्षपूर्ण और अनिश्चित है, लेकिन खाली नहीं है.

ये बात नहीं की ऐसी परिश्थितियों का ये पहला मौका हो,
और ये नाव किसी अनजान मजधार में हिलकोरे खा रही हो.
नहीं, हम इस छोटे मायूश टापू पे पहले भी आ चुके हैं,
लेकिन कभी कभी लगता है की तब ये टापू इतनी वीरानी तो नही थी.

सुना तो बहोत है की हर रात की एक सुनहरी सुबह है,
 लेकिन इस रात का क्या, ये भी तो सफ़र का ही एक हिस्सा है. 
 हमे मंजूर नहीं की ये रात बस उन शामो की धुंधली तस्वीर बन कर रह जाये,
 क्युंकी हम तो राही हैं  उस सफ़र के, जो मंजिलों की मोहताज़ नही हुआ करती.

confession

ye un dino ki baat hai...

Walking on the road towards the school, bag full of books and eyes of dreams; I was in class 4 then. I used to be kindda silent and non-mischievous boy then (its hard to be believe but its true). most of the incidents that happened at that time are hard to recall but some of them were so childish and innocent that they stuck to my mind and I am going to tell you some of them today.....

sandeep was one of my friends and I had a fight with him over some matter....don't actually remember what the trifle was all about but then after some days his father had a transfer and they went to some other place.....the incident hurt me so much that I thought it was all my fault and wept whole night and felt guilty for a whole month or so.....now I know the truth but even now I fill a ting of pain or whatever it is when I think about that....

There was one more incident having a funny note though....that school was a co-ed and guys and gals used to sit with each other there....I was going to join another school and my friends nupur and paresh told me that boys and girls are supposed to sit separately in that school....and I wondered for a long time why is that so until I joined the school and found that to be true.....with time I became used to this idea and found nothing unusual in it......but the reason became clear only after some more years....and i suppose this is also the reason for my uneasy feelings with the girls...

After so many years when i recall those incidents.....whether emotional or humorous....an unusual sensation comes into my mind and I know that this sensation is good because it creates an instantaneous smile on my face....     

another "g" day......

sexy yaar sexy......

i discovered one more thing today.....if u have read my earlier posts.....u must know i discover something mostly on my "g" days......now dont ask me what that means.....u must have heard that if u were of my collg....never mind.....i cant mension that because people always seem critical to this....and probably i find my "solace".....if there exists such a word.....enough.....enough....

now to the main topic....u think u listen songs....know everything abt them......well what is the difference between indian music and western music.....u'll say indian music is mostly of soft kind....lately some fast tacks are there.....but as i take it....most people hate them, if they do, because it is too slow for them.....on the other hand english songs have their fabulous raps and pops in them sans pink floyd.....which people are again critical of, somehow......but the reason is obvious.....isnt it....??

but the main point of discovery is that this is not by itself.....this is in integration with the instrumental of the song.....indian instrument's music....may be harmonium, flute or violin type music.....it takes a constant note and creates a continuous music......but western instruments like guitar or drum have sharp and short notes and beats.....

i know its not that big  DISCOVERY but as u have been so patient in my worthless babbling.....and as they say......u must help those lunatics.....its a noble cause...off course......and dont overestimate urself too.....i know u are not that busy too......u dont have a better thing to do at the moment.....trust me and accept it.....maybe u can find a diamond in the coalmine all of a sudden......ahhh the probability is so less though....

thank you very much for the time you donated for this noble cause.....bcoz i doubt it that i would have done so if i were sane......and hearty congratulations for successfully accomplishing a herculean task....join the team........welcome.

1 rupya aaj bhi chalta hai....

Times change....sometimes very slowly though....not even giving you the opportunity to recognize what changed....and when you realize the difference after a long time you look at it, awestruck, and say sahi  hai  yaar....you often don't realize its for good or bad....but then result ain't everything....as one of my friends said....the path is even more interesting.


When we were in 1st and 2nd year....that is in up's....i spent some of the best days of my life till now....and i think it applies for all my friends too....i know you can't generalise your feelings for the whole general mass....but they are not general.....are they??? and believe me i had too long a discussion about this.....so not again.... anyway the topic here is that we used to celebrate holi there, and what enjoying moments those were....buckets of water and colours flowing from the top floor to the bottom and we guys from ground floor, going up and giving them some lessons on their own subject.....going to jhaji with a rag on our bodies and then smoke and say HOLI HAI....and every time my stupid comment....TERE KO ABHI PATA CHALA......


Yesterday we did the same thing here in the downs....surely it was different....no water from top to ground floor....but there were incidents even more interesting....i, chuchu (please call him nitish, its decent!!!) and joshi went to the market....they were wearing the rags and i was driving the bike almost naked...the looks on the face of by-passers told us....you shameless creatures....you are incorrigible.....and we asked them the same questions with our eyes....


then prakash and i had some BHANG (baba ka prasad, its nickname) and drove off to the nadi.....man, what an experience it was....if the one thing you are missing in the NIT and with such proximity.....it will surely be the nadi....lying on the sand bed with water flowing over you slowly....its heaven....and when you close your eyes you think you are being driven away by the current with a crazy speed....but you are still lying in the same position....Pratyush and prakash experimented and concluded the fact....and we were cursing NEWTON that he discovered everything in advance...otherwise the flame of glory was ours to be held.....


Maybe it was the BHANG....i can't deny it because we proved that by spending the whole evening talking in tooti phooti punjabi.......and prakash was all praises for me...i couldn't stop myself from praising him too....and so this post is dedicated to his statement.....1 rupya aaj bhi chalta hai...he said whether it be bhang or guthka or ganja....it is more interesting than those sophisticated vodka shots or the scotch pegs....who said the one rupee coin is obsolete......1 rupya aaj bhi chalta hai....


At the night there was my fav dish....maggy after a joint.....but you know....i had had enough and couldn't tolerate any more....so...in short....it was a perfect HOLI.